What is your Locus of Control?

In my practice, I often explain the concept of Locus of Control to help people gain new perspectives on the challenges they face in life. This idea revolves around how we think, behave or respond to situations and the outcomes that follow.

Some aspects of life, like the weather or others’ reactions, are out of our control. However, our thoughts and responses to these situations can be very much within our grasp.

Some individuals actively take charge of their lives, while others might feel at the mercy of fate or blame their misfortunes on external factors. This is where understanding "locus of control" becomes important!

**Internal Locus of Control**: People with this mindset believe they have power over their actions and the results that come from them. For example, if they are successful in an exam, they see it as a result of their hard work and preparation. They take responsibility for both their successes and failures.

**External Locus of Control**: On the other hand, those with an external locus often attribute their outcomes to luck or circumstances beyond their control. If they do well on a test, they might chalk it up to the exam being easy, rather than acknowledging their own efforts.

Now let's apply this to relationships:

**Internal Locus of Control**: This perspective empowers you to believe that your actions influence your relationship outcomes. For instance, if a conversation with your partner goes well, you might credit your own efforts in communicating openly and voicing your feelings. You recognize that your choices and your behaviour can significantly affect how things unfold.

**External Locus of Control**: On the other hand, those with an external locus often feel that their relationship problems are beyond their influence. They might think, "I can’t help it if my partner is distant," or "It’s just bad luck that we’re not connecting." This viewpoint can lead to feelings of helplessness and anxiety.

**Real-Life Example**: Consider a tough conversation with your partner. If you have an internal locus of control, you’ll see the outcome as a reflection of how well you communicated and expressed your feelings. If it doesn’t go as planned, you’ll focus on what you can improve next time. In contrast, if you lean toward an external locus, you might blame external factors—like their mood or other stresses—without recognising your own role in the situation.

By understanding your behaviour and actions, you can regain a sense of control in your relationships and in other areas of your life.

How do you perceive your influence in your interactions?

Recognising your locus of control can empower you to take charge of your life!

What’s your take—do you identify more with an internal or external locus?